Life Chat: With this Ring...
From time to time, my thoughts drift to that day.
With tears burning my eyes and my stomach empty I cried out in agony "I can't take it no more, my heart can't take it no more."
My best friend and sister, Lamoi, tried to comfort me. At the time I accepted it, but I was still empty. He broke my heart.
I cried for what seemed like an hour and then there was a vulnerable moment when I decided to surrender and to give my life to God.
I wanted to live my life right. I wanted to find love God's way. That was six months ago.
My life has transformed dramatically.I'm building a deep relationship with God. I read my bible daily. I pray every day (could pray some more though).
I gave up the "situationships" I was in, I gave up alcohol, I gave up negative friends, and I gave up sex.
Out of all the things I gave up to be renewed in Christ and to live my brand new life, sex was the hardest and the most controversial amongst my friends and family.
I initially made my decision due to my recent breakup because after a breakup you become celibate by default, right?
I had to think and reflect on why I found myself in the same types of relationships that always end the same way. I came to the resolution that sex was the link.
I went to God for direction on this decision, I only wanted to present my whole self to him holy. I wanted my heart and my body to be purged of the past pain. I wanted my future spouse to have a pure wife.
Six months into my celibacy, I learned the hard way, that it isn't easy.
It required lots of prayers. Developing new hobbies, self-discipline. It required me to not fall into the trap of loneliness.
It's teaching me about my worth.
I wanted to honor this new victory and the first thing that popped into my mind was a ring.
I discussed the idea with friends, most said "yes" a couple said "no", I went to God and he agreed.
So I bought myself a ring to celebrate this first quarter of my journey.
I bought the ring to be a constant reminder that God is preparing me for someone special.
I needed a reminder not to give into the temptation that is around me.
I needed the motivation that one day my left finger will adorn a ring and God will give me the love of my life.
So with this ring, I give to you Lord my mind, spirit, and body. I bestow myself to you a living and holy sacrifice.
With this ring, I vow not to be a slave to my past. The men I've slept with and gave my body to that were undeserving, are no longer. The soul ties are broken.
With this ring, I vow to continue living my best life. I will do the things that make me happy. I will nurture, correct, and strengthen my relationships with my family and friends.
With this ring, I vow to wait on you Lord. You know what's best for me and you will mold me into a wonderful and strong woman.
With this ring, I vow to be happy. Purely and genuinely happy.