Life Chat: "I was preparing to get my Heart Broken."
***Hey Guys!, Sometimes I have thoughts that I need to express more than 100 words, so ever so often I will post up blog posts like these and I plan to title them "Life Chat" so without further a' do', let's get into the first Life Chat!***
I've been in my current relationship for 5 months, so that's approximately 152 days and 21.7 weeks to be exact, but who's counting. It's appropriate to celebrate the years in any relationship or marriage, the months are considered stepping stones to make it to the years, but for me, as high-school as it may seem, months mean so much to me.
In this era of digital relationships, you could be in love, posting up pictures one day, then broken up, sad, posting up "Single People Be Like" memes all over your Instagram. So to make it to 5 months in a relationship is a big deal! especially to me.
I've been in a few relationships in my twenty-something life, and it always seemed like once my boyfriend at the time and I make it to the five month mark, I get my heart broken. EVERY. TIME. If it wasn't for cheating, it was for my lack of "giving it up." Then, there was one instance when I did indeed go against my morals and "gave it up" only to still get cheated on, around, you guessed it, the 5 month mark of that relationship.
I'm not angry at those men (anymore), but because of that repeated heartbreak I became tainted and fearful of relationships and celibate. Fast forward to two years later, the love of my life enters my life. From the start, I saw that we were opposite in certain aspects (Think Solange and Alan Ferguson), but the things we have in common made this relationship blossom, all the way to...5 months.
The day our relationship hit the 5 month mark I was preparing to get my heart broken. I was nervous all day, fearful that I would get a call saying "Hey, we need to talk" or "You're a nice girl, I care for you, but this isn't working" or my personal favorite: "You're too nice of a girl for me to be cheating on like this." To mask this fear I sent a good morning text, telling him how much I love him and how I'm happy we've made it this far in our relationship. Deep down inside I was scared. I thought history was going to repeat itself and I would be back to square one again.
But it didn't happen that way.
Not only did this beautiful man tell me how much he loved me (which he does everyday) but he also called me an awesome girlfriend (I already knew that, it's just nice to hear sometimes lol) it also made me realize that I have a man who loved me securely, unconditionally, and fearlessly. I shouldn't have expected the worst.
So the 5 month mark of my relationship taught me a few valuable lessons.
The biggest lesson is to not let my man pay for another man's past mistakes. Just because my exes weren't mature enough to be in a committed relationship with me doesn't mean he isn't.
Another lesson being that in order to have true love, you must be fearless. Fears are healthy, but they're also roadblocks. They hinder you from becoming the person you're supposed to be. They make you doubt. They make you check his Instagram comments for heart emojis that you didn't place there, ok, maybe not to that extreme. But you must go against your fears to reach your best potential and to find the best in yourself and the people you love.
So,cheers to 5 months Babe, we have so far to go. I love you.