Life Chat: "The Thing about Anniversaries..."
"Out of an unknown place Kinda like left field You came in my life and helped me heal Just in the nick of time When I lacked the will to keep on moving on.."- "Wildest Dreams by Brandy
If someone would have told me that I would meet the love of my life I wouldn't believe them or I'd probably laugh at them, but it happened to me.
For a while I really thought Love was counting me out. After so many failed relationships and heart-breaking "situationships" I thought I was only going to be exposed to men who only want to sleep around. I thought I had to settle for men who will sell me a dream that we'll be together only to renig. I was just about to give up on love, and out of nowhere, Alex came, the game changer.
He was my opposite. He's 11 years my senior and a single dad. A man who spoke his mind and wasn't afraid to tell you the truth even if it hurts your feelings. A man who told me after a 3 hour phone conversation that he's made the decision that I was the woman for him. "my search ends right here."
Here we are a year in. As I type this, today is our anniversary. This is the longest relationship I've been in. Besides the genuine love we have for one another, I've learned so many things about him, myself, and love in general.
The main thing I've learned is THERE ARE NO RULES TO THIS LOVE SHIT.
As women we are forced to believe in fairytales. Love is not perfect, there's no special prince who's gonna save you. You'll be lucky enough to get an average joe who adores you and has your back. It requires a lot of hard work. I wasn't prepared for all of the work I had to put into this relationship, but it made me grow as a woman. I was looking for that type of love where everything is perfect, He was Darius and I was Nina. He was Martin and I was Gina. We're just imperfect Alex and Mahneerah. We have disagreements, I get in my feelings, He gets sarcastic, We communicate, we get through it.
LOVE MEANS SACRIFICE. I must admit in the beginning the fact that Alex had a child bothered me. I had to come to the realization that I would never come first. I've had my selfish feelings about it, but Alex never made me feel unwanted or unappreciated. Our schedules are booked and some days we can only get a text in, but he includes me in so many aspects of his life and I love his daughter. I have to give him so many kudos because he's juggling so many things (son, father, boyfriend,friend, cousin, his job), as am I (sister, aunt, friend, girlfriend, employee, writer), but we find ways to make our time ours. He makes me feel included every time.
LOVE REVEALS WHO YOU REALLY ARE. There were so many things I've tried to hide from Alex, one of those things was my depression. He wasn't aware of it, but he's trying to learn about it and he never ran away , for that I'm thankful. Then there's the small things like my weaves, my horrible morning breath. His snoring and His interesting way of cleaning. It took some time, but I'm completely comfortable being imperfect around him, I guess that's why he loves me so much.
LOVE FEELS GOOD. I've never imagined that God would send someone in my life that makes me laugh and who accepts me as I am. Alex is supportive of all my dreams and gives great advice. He's my best friend and I cherish the moments when we bust out in song or random dancing, or when I have my "happy moment" four times in a row during a nice grown up session *wink*, Loving Alex has taught me that there's no better feeling than a man who loves you when you love yourself just as much, maybe even more
"It's hard to hold back tears, Whenever you hold me close I think about the years I spent saying this is all I want Just wanted someone real to love me for me, me.." Wildest Dreams by Brandy
I'll complain about my weight, he'll call me sexy.
I'll have the worst cramps, he'll comfort me.
I've lost my grandmother, he was my strength.
I'll have an idea, he'll tell me it's possible.
I'll start an argument, he'll argue back with force and then I'll get turned on.
He includes me in his future.
He's embraced me having relationships with his daughter, his family, his friends.
I'm not the perfect woman, I'm insecure, he loves me anyway.
Alex, thank you for just being you and allowing me to be myself.
The future is uncertain, but as each day passes, my love grows for you. I love you down to my soul.